There aren’t any decent single men at the moment in New York City. In fact, that’s what everybody is telling us. When Deanna* moved into the city late 2021 and was able to see if there was an actual basis for the statement. Newly single after her boyfriend of three years broke up with her via Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. Around this time when a group on Facebook known as Is we Dating The Same Guy NYC appeared as an feature to follow. The group offered a thorough prescreening survey as well as community guidelines which served as a barrier to entry. It also had nearly 43,000 strong. Deanna was interested, and she enrolled.
The community
The group – which began with the sole purpose of helping women check if their loved ones were seeing other people-was started in March 2022. A majority of the major US city has a similar group now, and the rules are clear: Anyone has the right to post anonymously, with no restrictions on doxxing or sharing sensitive information, or in any way screenshots be deleted from the group. There is no bullies, no victim-blaming and no hate speech. Never tell a man he’s been listed in the group. In the wake of West Elm Caleb, one of the men with whom a lot of women from New York shared negative dating experiences and also connected the dots online, it seemed like a lot of women were looking for a method of sifting out others like him.you can find more here datingfortodaysman.com from Our Articles One TikTok user commented in the moment This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
That’s more or less what the group had turned into before Deanna joined. Each edition of Are We Dating the Same Guy serves as a catchall site for women seeking romantic advice or want to make a statement about the men with whom they’ve experienced bad dating experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is, it’s the act of contacting them other women to attract them on social media is also a trend. It’s not difficult for a person to fall into a tunnel of screenshots of Hinge profiles, tales of hookups that went wrong, and a plethora of memes describing the pitfalls of modern day dating. The most well-known posts consist of photos of a person with his first name, and asking whether someone has matched or dated the person who is that is being asked about. Red-flag emojis are an often sight on seemingly unimportant but alarming messages warning users of an ex or bad relationship frequently accompanied by a downward arrow as well as the alarming phrases See comments for more info.
The popularity of online dating has been a major factor in our prospects in recent years, with one recent study finding that almost 39 percent of heterosexual couples meet their partner online. It is therefore logical that the social element of romance will change in the digital age. Instead of hanging out with few friends drinking a glass of wine or venting to coworkers, we’re now seeking the counsel of 43,000 women who have experienced similar – and sometimes very similar-experiences.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie,* another group member. Not saying that there’sn’t advantages, but it was certainly beneficial for me to clarify my thinking about dating. It’s not a competition in a way with women who aren’t, and instead holding men to a higher expectations than before.
It’s not lost on me that certain behavior which is encouraged and supported in Are We the Dating the Same Guy would be concerning if displayed by potential suitors. Pictures, information about private discussions, and screenshots posted without the permission of the other person or knowledge are plentiful. Social media users search for profiles on an almost daily basis. And it doesn’t take much for a partner to get to be the center of attention. Even though Deanna enjoys being a part group, she does have some reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she says. But I’m thinking you’ll are faced with the issue of it’s a echo chamber of ‘Men’s got us in trouble for so long, and we’re ready to give it back.
We are still a patriarchal culture
We are still an era of patriarchy, and until we’re truly equal, these online interactions will generate different reactions based on the culture of each individual. In the end, could a group like this truly be committed to empowering itself on one side of the coin, and morally reprehensible violence in the cell on another? Are We All Dating the Same Guy? Is it hyperlocal and interconnected, which is only beneficial to people who live and are dating in the area the group is located in. The women, as well as the men they profile can be your neighbor or coworker, friend, family member, or most recently Hinge match. And yet, there’s a loss of personalization that comes with operating on the internet, making the whole experience feel like the game. It’s not far-fetched to say this is objectifying for the participants in each group, particularly when the details of private chats, private messages as well as photos are made public without their knowledge or consent, sometimes just for the sake of entertainment.